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Tag: Resilience

Why Growth Often Feels Invisible

Many people expect growth to feel dramatic. We imagine confidence arriving all at once or healing appearing as a clear turning point. In reality, psychological growth is often gradual and difficult to notice while it’s happening.

Research on learning and behavior change suggests that improvement tends to occur through repeated experiences and small adjustments over time rather than sudden transformation (Prochaska & Velicer, 1997). Because these changes happen incrementally, our brains often adapt to them quickly and stop noticing them.

This is similar to how we rarely notice a child growing taller from one day to the next. Growth becomes visible only when we compare the present to a more distant past. Emotional growth works much the same way. Becoming more patient, resilient, or self-aware often happens beneath the surface long before we recognize it consciously.

One way to support this process is to periodically reflect on where you were six months or a year ago. Looking back can reveal progress that daily life tends to hide.

References

Prochaska, J. O., & Velicer, W. F. (1997). The transtheoretical model of health behavior change. American Journal of Health Promotion, 12(1), 38–48.

Mental Health ≠ Mental Illness

Many people still confuse mental health with mental illness, but they are not the same. Everyone has mental health—just like we all have physical health—but not everyone experiences mental illness.

What is Mental Health?

Mental health refers to our overall psychological well-being. It encompasses how we cope with daily stressors, maintain relationships, make decisions, and feel about ourselves. It is not just the absence of mental illness; it also includes positive traits such as resilience, emotional regulation, and life satisfaction.

Teixeira et al. (2025) emphasize that mental health must be seen as “a dynamic state of internal equilibrium,” which supports effective functioning in society, and is distinct from diagnosable mental disorders.
What is Mental Illness?

Mental illness refers to clinical conditions such as depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia, among others. These are diagnosable mental health conditions that often require specific treatment, including therapy, medication, or both.

Nguyen et al. (2025) found that even among healthcare professionals, there remains confusion between these two terms, leading to inadequate preventive strategies and perpetuating stigma.

Prevention, Maintenance, and Growth

Just like we eat healthy foods and exercise to maintain our physical health, we must actively care for our mental health. Mental health promotion includes:

  • Practicing mindfulness and reflection
  • Building strong social connections
  • Engaging in physical activity
  • Seeking help when needed—early!

According to Fiorillo & De Giorgi (2024), proactive public health policies should target social determinants like income, education, and housing to build resilience and reduce risks for mental illness.

Challenging the Stigma

The stigma around mental illness often prevents people from seeking help. But framing mental health as universal and maintainable can shift this perspective.

A recent scoping review by Plackett et al. (2024) found that social media campaigns that emphasize mental health as everyday well-being (not illness alone) significantly improve attitudes and help-seeking behavior.

Everyone Has Mental Health—Just Like Physical Health

Let’s normalize talking about emotions and seeking support—not just in crisis, but as a routine part of life.

📌 Key Takeaways:

  • Mental health is for everyone; mental illness is not.
  • Promoting mental health is about building well-being, not just treating disorders.
  • Reducing stigma starts with education and open conversations.
  • Prevention, just like in physical health, can significantly reduce mental health issues.

References:

Fiorillo, A., & De Giorgi, S. (2024). Social Determinants of Mental Health. Springer. https://raggeduniversity.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/1_x_Andrea-Fiorillo-editor-Serafino-De-Giorgi-editor-Social-Determinants-of-Mental-Health-Sustainable-Development-Goals-Series-Springer-2024_compressed.pdf

Nguyen, M.V., Khanh, H.D., & Phan, C.T. (2025). Investigating the impacts of psychological safety climate on mental ill health. Engineering, Construction and Architectural Management. https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/ECAM-11-2024-1576/full/html

Plackett, R., Steward, J.M., Kassianos, A.P., Duenger, M. (2024). The effectiveness of social media campaigns in improving knowledge and attitudes towards mental health and help-seeking. JMIR Preprints. https://s3.ca-central-1.amazonaws.com/assets.jmir.org/assets/preprints/preprint-68124-submitted.pdf

Teixeira, A.I., Martins, S., Lima, S., Pinto, F., & Morgado, T. (2025). A Mixed Methods Approach to Understanding Mental Health Literacy Among University Health Students. Healthcare, 13(7), 724. https://www.mdpi.com/2227-9032/13/7/724

What is Positive Psychology

Positive psychology is a part of psychology that focuses on the positive parts of life. Instead of only studying problems like sadness or anxiety, it looks at what helps people feel happy, strong, and fulfilled. Psychologists in this field ask questions like, “What makes life meaningful?” or “What helps people stay hopeful even during hard times?” It’s about understanding what goes well in life and how we can have more of it (Seligman & Csikszentmihalyi, 2000).

One important idea in positive psychology is that everyone has personal strengths. These can be things like kindness, bravery, creativity, or love of learning. When we use our strengths, we often feel more confident and motivated. Positive psychology also shows that practicing gratitude—like writing down things you’re thankful for—can boost your mood and help you handle stress better. Even simple acts, like helping others or spending time in nature, can help improve mental well-being.

Positive psychology teaches us that mental health is not just about fixing problems, but also about building a life that feels good and meaningful. It reminds us to focus on what’s going right, not just what’s going wrong. By learning more about our strengths, practicing gratitude, and connecting with others, we can feel happier and stronger each day. In this way, positive psychology helps people not just survive—but thrive.

References
Seligman, M. E. P., & Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2000). Positive psychology: An introduction. American Psychologist, 55(1), 5–14. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.5

“Hmm” vs. “Ugh”

Life throws curveballs—missed deadlines, unexpected weather, or even just a bad day. Our reactions to these moments can significantly impact our mental health. Most of us are familiar with the instinctive “ugh,” a reaction rooted in frustration, dismay, or rejection. But what if we replaced “ugh” with “hmm”? This small shift, from resistance to curiosity, can make a big difference in how we navigate life’s challenges.


The Science Behind “Ugh”

“Ugh” is more than just an expression—it’s a manifestation of emotional reactivity. According to Beck’s (1976) cognitive theory, such reactions may arise from distorted thinking. When things don’t go our way, our brains tend to catastrophize or overgeneralize. For instance, spilling coffee might spark an “ugh” followed by the thought, “This ruins my whole day.” This automatic negativity can increase stress and anxiety, trapping us in a cycle of frustration.

Additionally, “ugh” often reflects misperceptions. Imagine planning a beach day, only to encounter rain. The initial “ugh” assumes the trip is ruined. However, this reaction misses the potential for alternative enjoyable activities, such as visiting a local café or spending quality time indoors. By sticking to the “ugh” response, we limit our ability to adapt and find joy in the unexpected.


Why “Hmm” Matters

In contrast, “hmm” embodies curiosity and openness, encouraging us to pause, reflect, and explore. This shift can transform how we experience challenges.

  1. Reduces Negative Judgments. When we respond with “hmm,” we suspend judgment and consider alternative perspectives. Carl Rogers (1951) emphasized the importance of this openness for emotional wellbeing. Instead of thinking, “Ugh, my coworker is so rude,” curiosity might lead us to wonder, “Hmm, what might be going on with them today?”
  2. Encourages Mindfulness. Mindfulness involves staying present and observing experiences without judgment (Kabat-Zinn, 1990). Saying “hmm” instead of “ugh” keeps us grounded, reducing stress and fostering emotional regulation.
  3. Promotes Problem-Solving. The “ugh” mindset focuses on obstacles, while “hmm” seeks solutions. Research on emotion regulation by Gross (1998) shows that reframing situations leads to better outcomes. For example, when a plan falls apart, “hmm, how else can I make this work?” encourages creative thinking.
  4. Fosters Emotional Resilience. A curious approach helps us process emotions more effectively. Asking, “Hmm, why do I feel this way?” can provide insights, reducing the urge to suppress or avoid uncomfortable feelings.

How to Shift from “Ugh” to “Hmm”

Changing your default reaction takes practice, but it’s worth the effort. Here’s how to start:

  1. Notice the “Ugh”
    Pay attention to moments when you react with frustration or dismay. Simply recognizing the “ugh” is a step toward change.
  2. Pause and Reflect
    Instead of jumping to conclusions, take a deep breath and ask yourself a question beginning with “hmm.” For example:

    • “Hmm, what can I learn from this?”
    • “Hmm, how can I approach this differently?”
  1. Reframe the Situation
    Curiosity opens the door to new possibilities. Focus on what you can explore or adapt in the moment rather than dwelling on what went wrong.

Switching from “ugh” to “hmm” is a simple yet powerful tool for improving mental health. Curiosity helps us navigate life with openness and creativity, turning challenges into opportunities for growth. So, the next time life throws you a curveball, pause. Trade the “ugh” for a thoughtful “hmm,” and see how it transforms your perspective.

Read more from Rizaldy R. Ferrer, Ph.D.


References

  • Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. International Universities Press.
  • Gross, J. J. (1998). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. Review of General Psychology, 2(3), 271–299.
  • Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. Delacorte Press.
  • Rogers, C. R. (1951). Client-centered therapy: Its current practice, implications, and theory. Houghton Mifflin.

The Half-Empty, Half-Full Glass

The well-known expression “Is the glass half-empty or half-full?” is often used to gauge whether someone has a pessimistic or optimistic outlook. The half-empty perspective emphasizes what is missing, while the half-full view highlights what remains. Both perspectives seem to offer valid, yet opposing truths. However, framing the question as an either/or situation overlooks the dialectical nature of reality, where both sides coexist in a continuous interplay.

Dialectics, a concept rooted in philosophy by Georg Hegel, holds that seemingly opposing forces can exist simultaneously, and it is in their interaction that truth is revealed. Rather than viewing the glass as either half-empty or half-full, the dialectical perspective suggests they are both at the same time. This duality reflects a more comprehensive understanding of reality, where contradictions are not resolved by choosing one side but are embraced as part of a larger, dynamic whole.

From a dialectical standpoint, acknowledging that the glass is both half-empty and half-full allows for a deeper appreciation of life’s complexity. It encourages us to move beyond binary thinking, fostering a mindset where limitations (the half-empty) and possibilities (the half-full) are recognized together. Life is not static; it constantly shifts between what we have and what we lack, and understanding this interaction can lead to more balanced perspectives.

In practice, this means recognizing that challenges and opportunities are intertwined. The glass is neither just full of potential nor only depleted of resources—it is both. By embracing this dialectical view, we open ourselves to a more nuanced understanding of our experiences, where growth and setbacks, gains and losses, exist in an ongoing relationship. It’s in navigating this tension that we find deeper insight into ourselves and the world around us.

Imagine a person who only views the glass as half-empty. This person constantly focuses on what is missing—whether it’s time, resources, or personal achievements. Over time, this perspective can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, anxiety, or even depression. When we only see what’s lacking, the mind begins to internalize a narrative of insufficiency, leading to a cycle of negative thoughts. Opportunities for growth and happiness become overshadowed by a fixation on shortcomings, creating mental strain and emotional fatigue.

Conversely, someone who exclusively sees the glass as half-full may focus solely on the positives, disregarding any potential issues or challenges. While optimism is beneficial, an overly positive bias can lead to unrealistic expectations, denial of real problems, or avoidance of difficult emotions. This type of thinking can prevent a person from preparing for challenges, leading to frustration or unexpected setbacks when reality doesn’t align with their optimistic view.

Now, consider a person who sees both sides of the glass—half-empty and half-full. This individual acknowledges the emptiness, but also values what is still present. By recognizing the challenges while appreciating the opportunities, they foster a balanced and adaptable mindset. This approach encourages practical problem-solving while maintaining a sense of gratitude and resilience. Acknowledging both what we lack and what we possess helps us to develop emotional flexibility and mental strength.

Benefits of a Balanced Perspective:

Mental flexibility: Recognizing both the good and bad can help manage stress, process emotions healthily, and build resilience.

Emotional health: Appreciating what is present, while also planning for and addressing what is lacking, reduces anxiety and creates a sense of control.

Cognitive balance: Viewing both sides nurtures a realistic, yet hopeful mindset, allowing one to stay grounded while remaining open to growth and change.

Ultimately, the healthiest mental state comes from seeing the glass as it is—both half-empty and half-full—because life, too, is a balance of losses and gains, struggles and successes. Embracing this duality allows us to thrive mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually, fostering a more sustainable sense of wellbeing.

It’s now your turn to reflect on how you navigate around your daily experiences. When you face challenges or opportunities in life, do you tend to focus more on what’s missing (the empty part) or on what you have (the full part)? How might your mindset shift if you made room for both perspectives?

Rather than choosing whether the glass is half-empty or half-full, it is more consistent with dialectics to see that it is both. This broader perspective acknowledges the contradictions inherent in life, encouraging us to embrace complexity rather than oversimplifying our reality.

Read more from Rizaldy R. Ferrer, Ph.D.

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